Over the last couple of weeks, I have grew more paranoid by the night. I cant barely get sleep anymore, and now Im always exhausted. If I do manage to get some sleep, I keep having dreams of Him, and disturbing images and visions.

As well as paranoia, I keep seeing these horrifying faces and figures. Demonic. They are the specific source of my paranoia. And what makes it worse is that I usually only see them at night, when Im alone, when Im most vulnerable.

Every single time when Im alone, even when it's not night, I feel like Im being watched. It's very unsettling.

Im also sick most of the time, with an unknown sickness. A fever and a headache, most of the time. Sometimes even a bad stomachache, like im going to throw up. Even once, a bloody nose.

As for my obsession of Him, well... It has pretty much taken over my life. I have drawn pictures of Him all over my bedroom walls, desk, dresser, and notebooks. I even drew Him on my arms and hands a few times. I cant stop researching Him. I NEED more information of Him. I WANT to know more about Him. And I WILL learn everything I can about Him.

So... I basically don't know what to do anymore... I truly hope all of this will end soon. It's effecting me physically AND emotionally. Im trying to keep sane.. Im just not sure how much longer I can do it for though...

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